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Dave: why is my penis green?
Jerry: because at 2am, high out of your mind, you painted it so it would look like, and I quote, a sexual serpent capable of spitting its venom everywhere.
Dave: Damn it I knew I was a genius!

nickiminiall:

isn’t it weird that we pay money to see other human beings?

trillow:

yes i’d like to trade in my notes for some prizes now

gilinskytbh:

baesicdallas:

So there’s this place in New South Wales called Yass and there is a mcdonalds there and well…..

image

"my ass"

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